Dan Calvisi just started a blog. When I expressed dread to him about a new movie he mentioned, he was kind enough to send me a link to the Variety article about the new hip hop version of Jane Austen's Emma.
That's right, you Jane Austen fans. Emma for the new millennium. Like I told Dan, when I see the movie, if I hear a whirring sound, it'll be Ms. Austen spinning in her grave.
Okay, I want to be the first to pitch this idea to the studios so I'm claiming it here. Today, Sling Words aka Joan Reeves, pitches the idea of a new millennium version of Casablanca with Beyonce as Ilsa, Usher as Lazslo, and, drum roll please, Jay Z as Rick.
Nazi Major Strasser will be played by Fifty Cent, and police Captain Renault will be Master P.
Sam, the piano player, who never really is instructed to: "Play it again, Sam." will feature Mary J. Blige in a gender twist as Samantha.
Hollywood, have your people call my people, and we'll do lunch.
Oh, I forgot. I don't have any people. That's okay. We'll still do lunch. Just email me.
Sling Words out to go count my imaginary chicks before they hatch.